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oftherejectionofthefittest.
Butyou’resoconfoundedlyhardtoplease,Mike,”
hesaid.Therewasanawfullynicegirldown
atAshbridgeatEasterwhenIwasthere,whowas
simplypiningtotakeyou.I’veforgottenhername.”
Michaelclickedhisfingersinasummarymanner.
Thereyouare!”hesaid.Youandsheflirtedallthe
time,andthreemonthsafterwardsyoudon’teven
rememberhername.Ifyouhadonlybeenme,you
wouldhavemarriedher.Asitwas,sheandIbored
eachotherstiff.There’sanironyforyou!Butasfor
pining,Iaskyouwhetheranygirlinhersensescould
pineforme.Lookatme,andtellme!Orrather,don’t
lookatme;Ican’tbeartobelookedat.”
HerewasoneofMichael’smorbidsensitivenesses.
Heseldomforgothisownphysicalappearance,thefact
ofwhichwastohimappalling.Hisstumpyfigurewith
itsbigbody,hisbroad,blunt-featuredface,hislong
arms,hislargehandsandfeet,hisclumsiness
inmovementweretohimofthenatureofaconstant
nightmare,anditwasonlywithFrancisandtheease
thathissolitarypresencegave,orwhenhewas
occupiedwithmusicthathewhollylosthisself-
consciousnessinthisrespect.Itseemedtohimthat
hemustbeasrepulsivetoothersashewastohimself,
whichwasadistortedviewofthecase.Plainwithout
doubthewas,andofheavyandungainlybuild;buthis
beliefinthefinalityofhisuncouthnesswasmorbidand
imaginary,andhalfhisinabilitytogetonwithhis
fellows,nolessthanwiththemaidenswhowere
broughtdowninsinglefiletoAshbridge,wasdue
tothis.Heknewverywellhowlight-heartedlythey
escapedtothegenialityandattractivenessofFrancis,
andintheclutchofhisownintrospectivetemperament
hecouldnotfreehimselffromthehandicapofhisown
sensitiveness,and,likeothers,takehimselffor
granted.Hecrushedhisownpowertopleasebythe
weightofhisjudgmentsonhimself.
Sothere’sanotherreasontocomplainoftheirony
