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DAVIDKOLBAIA
21
ThelettertoLaundenbachIwroteinGerman.IwouldloveaGerman-
speakertoreviseit.
IalsotrytocontacttheCatholocos,letusseeifhewritesback.Ialso
wrotetotheMetropolitanNazar.31IwillsettledownwritingTwoCom-
munismsassoonasIhavefinishedwithallthenotes.
Thenewofficerseemstobeaveryniceman.Ilikedhimatfirstsight.
Iwouldbeveryhappyifheconsentstoteachme.
Monday,6December
Nothingsignificanthashappenedtoday.ThelettertoLaudenbachwas
sent.IdroppedwritingTheWhiteIris.Ihavenotwrittenitforalong
time.ItmustbefinishedforChristmas.
Iamnothappywiththisday.NeitherIhavewrittennorhaveIreadin
German.Ifonly!WhathaveIdone?Ihavenoidea.OhGod!…Thetime
tomultiplysins.
Bytheway,today,themomentIwaswritingTwoCommunisms,Vach-
nadzesatbesideme.Didheseeit?Idonotknow.Maybehedidnot.
Anywayitmakesnodifference.Ihavenoideawherehecamefrom…
Oh,God!...
Tuesday,7December
Ihavebeenmisbehavingandlettingmyselfdowntheselastdays.By
quittingeverythingIcontinuetodegrademyselfwhereasmoralityand
themasteringofGermanconstitutemymotto.
ItakegreatinterestinTwoCommunismsandbegintoputtogetherall
thenecessarysources.ItisgoingtobeasubstantialresearchandIshall
useitformythesis.Ineedtokeepaseparateexercise-bookandsaveall
thedata.
BerulashviliwrotealettertoTamarashvili,sayinghellotoallhis
friendsexceptforme.NotthatIthinkveryhighlyofmyself!Probably
Iwasnotagreatfriendofhis;maybeIdidnotlendahelpinghandduring
hishardships;maybeIdidnotencourageandpickhimupwhenhewas
goingthroughtoughtimesorwhenhewasdown.Butifheknewhow
hardmyheartbeatsforhim,howfilledwithloveandgratefulIam!He
31SaintMetropolitanNazar(1872-1924)bornIosebLejava,shotduringtheBolshevikRepres-
sionsintheSapichkhiaForestclosetoKutaision27August1924.