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24
DAVIDKOLBAIA
beforeJesusChrist.HeisfascinatedbytheGospel.Hisbookscando
aworldofgoodtotheChurch.
IcanimaginewhatthebookbyLunacharskiisgoingtobeabout.And
nevertheless,Ifeelitmustbeappealing.WherecanIfindit?
Lifeanddeathareahumanproperties.ShotaRustaveli,whocon-
demnsthe“Shamefullife”appearsinallhisglorybeforemyeyes.
IbecametiredofwritingTheWhiteIrisbutstillImustfinishit.Today
Ihaveadvancedalittle.
IhavealsobeentoRabatichurch35andwasreallydelightedwithcer-
tainnun.Iftherewerealotofsuchvirtuouswomeninourchurch,its
bodycouldcometolife,anditsheartmightstarttobeatvividly.Today
itisparalyzed,nearlydead.Onlysuchwomencanenlivenit.Shecan
revivethechurchjustlikeMaryMagdalene,MarythemotherofJacob
andSelome36enlivenedChristproclaimingthejoyofresurrectiontothe
world.Imusttrytoknowherbetter.
Monday,13December
Irealizedonethingtoday.AsifIhavebeenblindsofarandnowhave
becomesighted.
IntheeveningIwenttoJibotoaskforbread.ItwastheDayofthe
GuardsandeveryonewenttoseetheperformanceofPanemetCircens-
es.37IsentourmessengertheretoattendtheshowasJiboentrustedmeto
pickupadinnerforthesoldiers.No,itmakesnodifference.Allthesame,
thepointisthatIamgoingtoJibotoaskonceagainforsomebread.Jibo
deliberatelywentaway.Hehidhimselffrommeonlynottogivebread.
Helacksthecivilcouragetotellmethathecannotdoit,thatheisnot
supposedto.Thenreprimandandkickmeout.Ilackcivilcourage,wit
andflairtoperceiveone’sinnerexcitementandconfusion,one’sunspo-
kenthoughtsandgestures.No,IknowandfeeltheactualitybutIamlike
adrowningmanwhotriestoclingtostraws;beingawayfromhome,
Ispendmytimeinletter-writing.
35SaintGiorgiBasilicabuiltduringthe9th-11thcenturiesissituatedintheplacecalledRabatiin
Akhaltsikhe.
36“Therewerealsowomenlookingonafarof:amongwhomwasMaryMagdaleneandMarythe
motherofJamesthelessandofJacobandSalome.”Mark15:38-41,KingJamesBible.
37atCircenses-BreadandCircuses,LatinquotationfromJuvenal,theRomanpoetofthelate1st
centruryAD.Itdenotessustenanceandentertainmentprovidedbygovernmenttoappeasepublic
discontent.