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gotadoginthehouse,ourparentsnolongerbeatuswith
abeltliketheydidbefore,butwithaleash;probably
becauseitwascloseathand.ExceptthedogIsleashwas
noordinaryleash,itwasasailingropewiththickloops.
Mydadthentookthatropeandstartedbeatinghimwith
it.Fromthesecondfloor,Iheardmybrotherscreaming
andcrying.Thedogcametomewithitstailtuckedup
anditwasshakingallover,andIstartedcryingmyself
andcouldnItstop.Ihatedmyselfforwhathappenedto
mybrother.Jarekhadhugehaematomasafterthat,andit
stayedwithme.IdonItknowwheremyolderbrother
waswhenitallhappened.Once,whenIwentwithmy
dogforawalk,Itookthisropeandhitmyself.Ididit
lightly,butitstillhurtmeterribly,andjusttothink-my
brotherwasgettinghitbymyfatherwithallhisstrength.
HedidnItgethitjustonce,butaboutadozentimes.At
thatmoment,IfeltsuchaterriblepainthatIcried,and
everytimethissituationcamebacktome,tearsfilledmy
eyes.Itriedhardnottothinkaboutitandtoconvince
myselfthatitwasover,andIneededtobestrong.
Evennow,whenIdescribethewholeevent,itis
terriblydifficultforme.Thefeelingshaveremainedtill
thisday.ThatdayIalsoalmostgothitwiththisrope,I
donItrememberhowImanagedtoavoidit.Theweirdest
thingaboutitwasthatmydadseemedtofeelguiltyfor
doingit.Hepunishedinthegreatestanger,andthen
alwaystriedtosmooththingsover,mymotherdidnIt-or
soIthought.Once,yearslater,intheirpresence,Ibrought
upthisincident.Throughtearsandwhileswallowingmy
bitterness,Irecountedwhathappenedonlytobeasked,
Hsowhat?”Myfatherwasnotonetodwellonthepast,
butithadbeenincrediblydifficultformewhichwaswhy
Iwasstillexperiencingthepain.Manypeoplewhodonot
believethateventscanmakeyoufeelsostronglymaynot
understandthis.Thatapersonwho,accordingtosome,
hasnofeelingsisstillbroodingonit.
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