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MariaKorusiewicz
InterdependentLove
Teunderlyingissuehereisthedińerenceinthemajorfigurethatdefinesand
symbolizes“Authority,”andconsequentlydeterminesthenatureofallsocialrela-
tions.InIndo-Europeanculturesrootedintheoldreligionsofnomadicwarrior
tribesitistheFather;inshintoisticJapanitwouldberatherthenurturing,though
strict,Mother,thesymbolofshelterandsafety,trustandobligation.Temother–
childrelationisinfactatightbondofemotionalinterdependence,foundedon
so-calledamae,usuallytranslatedas“sweetinterdependence”(YamadaHaru),
“primarylove”(inMichaelBalint)sterminology)ordependentlove(DoiTakeo),
sincethenotionitselfhasnoverbalrepresentationinWesternlanguages.Te
termwasintroducedbyastudentofKosawa,DoiTakeo,whoinhisbookAnat-
omyofDependencedescribesamaeasthemajorcomponentinfluencingthefor-
mationoftheJapanesesocialself.
“Tearchetypalrelationshipinvolvingamaeisthatbetweenmotherand
child,butthisarchetypealsostructurestherelationshipbetweenhusbandand
wife,teacherandpupil,anddoctorandpatient,”writesYvesPelicierinthefore-
wordtoaFrenchtranslationofDoi)sbook.16Tesmoothactivationofamae
shouldbeseenthenasapersonalskillnecessaryforsocialadaptation.Japanese
psychiatrystartswithanacceptanceofthismother-childdyad,asitrevealsthe
hidden,butcrucial,mechanismsofemotionallifeandtheirsocialconsequences.
TestoryofAjase,bringingamotherfiguretotheforeground,represents
amotivationofhumanbehaviourthatdińersfromWesternmodels.Western
psychoanalyticalthinkingemphasizestheautonomyofthehumansubject,who,
havingwell-definedboundariesseparatinghim/herfromtherestoftheuniverse,
tendstoobjectifytheexternalworld.Teconstructionofselfbecomessimultane-
ouslytheconstructionofthe“other,”whichcreatesaconflictiverelationshipwith
allthenon-self,aneedforastrong,unifiedandalienatedidentity.17Teconse-
quencesarebothinternalandexternal.“Ifthistypeofselfoodisnotattained,”
writesT.S.Lebra,“(anditrarelyis)thestraintowardintegrationislikelyto
causetheunintegratedlooseendstoberepressedinto[someunwanted,forgotten
space,thatwecall-MK]theunconscious,”18causingstressanddisorientation.
Intheoutsideworld,asFreudwroteinhislettertoEinstein,“conflictsofinterest
16YvesPelicierquotedinEtienneBarral,“TeAjaseComplex,(JapaneseGroupDepend-
ence),”UnescoCourier,March1,1993,accessedJanuary12,2012,findarticles.com/p/articles/mi...
/ai_13886296/.
17Idiscusstheissueoftheculturalselfin“LostinLogic;theStrategiesoftheCultural
SelfinWesternCultureandJapan”inLanguageofSense,Common-SenseandNonsense,ed.Ewa
Borkowska,TomaszBurzyńskiandMaciejNowak(Bielsko-Biała:Wyd.WSEH,2011),203-215.
18TakieSugiyamaLebra,TeJapaneseSelfinCulturalLogic(Honolulu:UniversityofHawaii
Press,2004),4.